Events in my life have taken a turn lately and I’ve been writing things that aren’t smut. Actually, that have nothing to do with sex. And that has led to a strange disconnect–a sort of half and half split, a Jekyll and Hyde. And lately I’ve found myself in more and more situations where I’ve had to “out” myself as a sex blogger, as a writer of erotica, and as gay because the community that I’m writing for/in doesn’t know. Very strange. It’s very strange for me to step into a world where my being a big ole gay-mo might not be clear, or where the contents of my website is not a thing that people already know about me.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to navigate it. Do I give out that business card that says I’m a purveyor of Clit Lit? Or not? Do I make sure to keep my identity totally separate so I don’t get pigeon holed? So I can still write things that have nothing to do with sex and gender identity, of course.

Then I really realized exactly how much shame that is indicative of and I was horrified. I had to start examining how I felt about the writing that I do. I came to the conclusion that I am really proud to contribute to my community in the way that I do and that smut is valuable. I really knew that before hand, but now I need to start walking the walk and not being a pansy about it.

And here’s why I’m proud. This is not fluff. It’s not a boy-meets-girl romance novel. It’s subversive–my pieces often take gender and queer it up a little, and they certainly depict women and female-bodied people enjoying and expressing themselves without the presence of men. And it creates a mirror for female-bodied queers to see themselves in. Only monsters have no reflections (props to those who can guess which author that idea comes from.)

So, business card out. Hope it was a good decision. On with more writing.