I almost don’t need to write anything else. Ass-ets says it all. This Crash Pad Series episode featuring Iona Grace and Nic Switch may be the sexiest collection of the nicest, roundest, spunkiest asses I ever did see. I can’t even think of anything to say about them. Oh, that’s rubbish, of course I [...]
Crash Pad
The Power of Pink and White to Make Porn
The Power of Pink and White to Make Porn The title seems obvious. Of course Pink and White makes porn. They produce Crash Pad Series, Heavenly Spire, movies. Though I haven’t seen much of Heavenly Spire, I can attest that Crash Pad Series is some of the queerest, most awesome porn I’ve ever seen. It [...]
Nubby G Review
It’s taken me a long time, but I’m finally finished. I animated a review of Babeland’s Nubby G Vibrator.
“Sassy Pants” And Other Lessons On Dirty Talk
I love dirty talk! And the combination of Ms. Maggie Mayhem and Tina Horn take it to the next extreme. If you’ve ever been intrigued by dirty talk, made nervous by dirty talk, or turned on by dirty talk, take a few lessons from this Crash Pad Series episode with one hand on your favorite [...]
Oh Crash Pad, My Crash Pad
I wrote a poem for Crash Pad. It stems from my extreme want for more porn. Oh Crash Pad, my Crash Pad Where have you been? I have very much missed you The lack of content, a sin Oh Crash Pad, my Crash Pad Where have you gone? Review topics are sparse When you don’t [...]
Another Foray Into the List World
So my last list was because my hands were too busy in my pants to write in a more sophisticated form. Which made me think. Why aren’t my hands always busy in my pants? It’s porn, it’s hot, why am I not continually making myself come while watching? And then I realized. Reviewing porn sometimes [...]
Hail to the Porn Titans (a.k.a. 8 Reasons I Loved the 100th Episode)
The Jiz Lee + Nina Hartley 100th Crash Pad Series episode is exquisite. And here are my reasons why, expressed in list form. Because really, how could I write anything more sophisticated with my hand down my pants? The femme gets called “Sir.” Okay, so I don’t know how Hartley identifies. And I get peeved [...]
“I Wanted To Get Into Porn…”
“…but I couldn’t lose the weight.” My brain exploded. I heard this out of the mouth of someone I don’t really know. At all. In fact, I witnessed that particular statement without knowing this person’s name…she was our waitress. But I looked her up and down and my brain legitimately leaked out of my ear [...]
“That’s a Really Expensive Bra”
I’ve written before, at length, about how we’re expected to take sex really seriously. Like, blue steel face kinda serious. No room for silliness. And the way that we see sex in mainstream film impacts that. Imagine all the sex scenes you’ve seen–most of them go perfectly. It’s romantic and heavy and there’s sometimes a [...]
Their Porn is Hot, Their Brains Are Hotter
I have blogged before about how much I love the Behind the Scenes at Crash Pad, and every single one of them is amazing, but I have a feeling that Dylan Ryan and Syd Blackovich take the cake on post-coital eloquence. So though their scene was amazing–they were so sweaty that they looked like [...]